The Curtis Saga Part One: Upheavels
by aims80
Summary: **COMPLETED** Another saga for the Curtises. Will things finally go right? Please R&R.
1. 1 The Aftermath

The aftermath!  
  
I don't know whether you could say things got back to normal, but they at least ended up a lot closer to normal then I ever thought they would during the trouble with the Socs and running away, and then the rumble and Johnny and Dally's death, and the subsequent hearing with the judge about it all. I was scared stiff that I might be taken away from Darry and Soda, perhaps even more scared than I had been during the fight with the socs that resulted in Bob's death, and I know that Darry and Soda were just as scared. We were all each other had in the world, and even if Darry was sometimes too serious and strict on me I knew it was just because he thought he had to be since Mom and Dad weren't there to be my guidance. Plus he worked such long hours, and so hard, just to make sure Soda and I had what we needed. It was kind of sad, because when he was at high school he had been so popular as captain of the football team, and he had even been voted boy of the year. He won a football scholarship, but we didn't have the money for him to go, and now he didn't do much other than work and go to the gym, and occasionally go skiing with old friends. He's had to grow up fast and has gone through a hell of a lot in his twenty years. When the judge said we could stay together I have never felt so relieved in my life, and I promised then to try harder to please Darry and not antagonize him, and to try harder at school and get my grades back up so I would be able to get the college scholarship Darry was so intent on me having! I handed in my English semester theme, and boy was it a whopper, but it did the job: Mr Syme actually passed me with a B-, and I handed my report to Darry, with a lot less reluctance then I would have thought. Not only had my grades picked up slightly becoming a little closer to the average I should have had, but also Darry had been a lot easier on me lately, and therefore I wasn't as concerned about his reaction as I might have been in the past. In part I think his lightning up on me was due to the fact that he thought I had been through a lot and it was bound to influence me in some way, but I also think it may have had something to do with the negative impact all our fighting had on Soda! Soda is great, and even Darry has trouble getting mad with my brother! Everyone loves Soda- he's probably the handsomest guy I know (Darry is good looking too, but he is always to serious, and working so hard. He doesn't seem to understand anything that is not plain hard work!), and he is always laughing, and joking, so that guys and girls alike love him. It seems as if he is drunk on plain living most of the time. Darry scanned my report, and then he reached out from the armchair where he was sitting, and ruffled my hair. "Good going Ponyboy." He said, and I felt myself swell with pride; compliments from Darry seemed to mean more to me than ones from anyone else.  
  
"Tell me Pony- what actually did you write your English theme on?" Darry asked.  
  
I glanced at the floor, and scuffed at the faded carpet with the toe of my sneaker, leaning forwards on the couch. "Everything." I said, finally. "You, me, Sodapop, the Socs, the greasers, the gang, Bob, Johnny, hiding out in the church, the fire-how Johnny was a hero!…the rumble, even Dally."  
  
Darry raised an eyebrow. "What did you say about Dallas?" He asked.  
  
"The truth…I know if he were here now and he read my theme he would thump me for portraying him the way I did- how with Johnny and all….how he finally showed he was human I guess…." I said.  
  
Darry nodded, but didn't speak. We were both silent in our own thoughts, with me wondering why he didn't ask what I said about him, and just as I opened my mouth to tell him Two-Bit Mathews burst in.  
  
"Soda home from work yet?" He asked, almost out of breath.  
  
Darry gave him a strange look. "Not yet, he's working late tonight so he wont be home until after dinner, why is something wrong?" He asked. I was thinking the same thing- Two-Bit wasn't smiling his usual goofy smile, in fact he looked serious-something he rarely is.  
  
Two-Bit hesitated, and then he shook his head. "Not wrong exactly, you know what- I might just go down the garage and see him." He started out of the house, but Darry stopped him with his words.  
  
"Wait a moment Two-Bit. Everything's alright isn't it?" Darry asked.  
  
Two-Bit hesitated again, and then he sighed. "Sandy's back." He said simply.  
  
Darry and I glanced at each other. I remembered the night Soda told me he was going to marry Sandy. We were lying in bed when he told me, and I asked him what it was like to be in love? He'd sighed happily, and muttered "It's real nice" dreamily before he fell asleep. I also remembered, just as well, the fact that Sandy had gone to Florida, the same week that Johnny and I had run away (although of course I didn't find this out until I got back), and when Soda told her he didn't want her to go, that he wanted to marry her, she just left anyway. When he wrote her a letter it had been returned unopened, and it was one of the only times I have ever seen Soda so unhappy for so long!  
  
"Back for good?" Darry asked, finally.  
  
Two-Bit shrugged. "I don't know. But that's not all- the thing is, she's pregnant. You should have seen her- she was fatter than old Miss Michels across the street, and boy is that saying something." He grinned, probably remembering the time he'd stolen every single one of her roses from the rose bush out the front of her place, and given them all to my Mom when she'd been alive. Two-Bit's like that- he's the clown of our gang, and in fact he loves school so much that he's still there. A junior at eighteen- not that he ever learnt anything; he went purely for kicks! Usually you can't shut Two-Bit up (hence his nickname!), and compared to Darry the differences are even more obvious! (By the way the fourth member of our group, at least now that Johnny and Dally are dead, but I don't want to get into that again, is Steve Randle- Soda's best mate. I'll get to him soon enough I'm sure!)  
  
"Is it, the baby, is it Sodapop's?" Darry asked, his face graver than I had seen it in a long time. Just when everything was starting to seem better this had to happen, I reflected with a inward groan.  
  
"I don't know…that's something he'll have to find out…." Two-Bit said with a sigh.  
  
Darry stood up and stretched, and I noticed that his usually very muscular frame was a little less muscular than usual, and it hit me that the all the problems lately had taken their toll even on my big brother. He grabbed his jacket from where he had thrown it on the couch when he walked through the door not that long ago, and shrugged himself into it. "I'm coming too." He said firmly.  
  
"Me too." I jumped up from my spot.  
  
Darry frowned slightly. "I don't know Ponyboy-" He began, but I interupted him.  
  
"Go on Darry! It's end of school so I don't have any homework, and we were just planning on chucking a frozen pizza in the oven for tea so I don't need to do anything!" I begged.  
  
He relented and nodded, and we all went outside and headed for the garage where Soda has worked full time since he left school, even though he's only sixteen, nearly seventeen. We didn't speak as we walked, and for Two-Bit this was a bit of a surprise, but I figured he must have had something on his mind; whether it was Sandy's reappearance or something else. Soda was out the front and he noticed us, and waved.  
  
"Hey! What's this? Miss me already?" He called, with a grin. Steve works at the garage also, only part time, and he was there too. He nodded to Darry, smiled to Two-Bit, but ignored me. I like Steve only because he is Soda's best friend, and he doesn't like me; he thinks I am just a kid and a tagalong.  
  
"Not exactly." Darry said.  
  
Soda heard the tone in his voice and raised an eyebrow. "So what gives then?" He demanded.  
  
…………………….. 


	2. 2 Sandy

2. Sandy.  
  
Darry didn't answer straight away, and Soda frowned. "Come on Darry-out with it!" He said. "It can't be that bad, can it?" But there was a strange tone in his voice, maybe it was fear? I used to think that Soda and Darry didn't know the meaning of the word fear, but during the last few weeks I had seen differently.  
  
"Well, its like this little buddy," Darry said. "Sandy's back in town, Two- Bit saw her, and unless she's been eating a hell of a lot, she's pregnant." From the way that he looked at Two-Bit when he had first given us the news I knew Darry thought it was more than likely that the kid was Soda's. And I remembered something Steve had said just after I got back from running away, and asked why Sandy had gone to live with her Grandmother: "Look, does he have to draw you a picture? It was either that or get married, and her parents hit the roof at the idea of her marryin' a sixteen year old kid."  
  
Two-Bit grinned wryly at Darry's poor attempt at a joke. "It's true Soda- she's bigger than the side of a house!" He offered, cocking his eyebrow in that way he had which always made us smile. Only this time we weren't smiling.  
  
Soda's face paled, and he seemed to slump against the side of the car he had been polishing. He looked like someone had knocked the wind out of him. Steve, who had been working on something under the bonnet of another car, stood up straighter and glanced at Darry for confirmation before looking back at Soda. I wondered whether he had known this or not, surely Soda would have had to of said something to someone, and no matter how I felt about Steve personally he and Soda had been best friends since grade school, but his face was expressionless and told me nothing. Maybe if I had been there instead of hiding out in that old church I would have known about it?  
  
Soda swallowed. "Yeah…she is pregnant. As soon as I heard I offered to marry her, I offered to do the right thing Darry, but she didn't want to, and she said….well she said no…." All the time he had been speaking he had avoided looking at us, however now his eyes locked with Darry's. For my part, I had been looking at Darry during Soda's confession, wondering whether he would be furious and berate Soda for not using his brain, but there was something in Darry's usually cold pale blue-green eyes I'd never seen before, and even now I can't describe it, unless it was understanding, but I really don't know.  
  
"Of course you offered to do the right thing Pepsi-Cola- you wouldn't be a Curtis otherwise…do you think you should go round and see her?" Darry asked. Darry didn't call Soda by Dad's nickname for him very often, but when he did it was usually because he knew Soda was upset.  
  
Soda looked as though it was the last thing on earth he wanted to do, but he knew Darry was right, and he nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Yeah, I might go round there as soon as I get finished here- although she probably wont want to see me. She made a few things clear when she left for Florida."  
  
"I can finish up here if you want to go now." Steve offered.  
  
Soda looked at him gratefully. "Would you? I guess getting it over and done with is the best plan…" He looked at us, as though he were hoping we would stop him, but nobody did.  
  
Back at home I turned the oven on and threw the frozen pizza in. My mind was in turmoil; images of Soda when he was with Sandy, when he talked about her and how much he liked her, and then when she left and wanted nothing to do with him were flitting through my mind. I had actually liked Sandy just fine. Her hair was natural blonde and she had a nice laugh. She was our kind- a greaser- but she was a real nice girl. Or so I had thought anyway, now I wasn't so sure. Darry was sitting in the lounge room, not doing anything, just sitting there, staring into space. Two-Bit had gone home and we'd left Steve at the garage doing Soda's work with the promise to come over later on.  
  
I leant against the doorframe. "Darry?"  
  
"What Ponyboy?" Darry asked, not lifting his head to look at me.  
  
"Why do you think Sandy came back? I mean, after she wouldn't marry Soda and all, why did she come back?" I asked.  
  
Darry shook his head. "I don't know…." He said.  
  
"Are you mad?" I asked.  
  
"Why all the questions Pony? Aren't you keeping an eye on the pizza?"  
  
"Yeah, fine…" I muttered, and I went back into the kitchen sensing Darry didn't want to talk. I wondered about that look in his eyes earlier-was there something about Darry we didn't know? I didn't have time to wonder any further, as the pizza was ready and just as we sat to eat it Soda returned.  
  
I looked into his eyes, trying to see some clue as to how he was feeling, or what happened, but there was none.  
  
"Are you alright little buddy?" Darry asked, his voice unusually gentle.  
  
Soda sighed, and then dropped into a chair. "At first she didn't want to speak to me- her parents were out and I think she was paranoid they would come back and see me there and hit the roof…then she relented- anyone want that slice?" He asked. Darry and I both shook our heads, and Soda reached for it and took a big bite. "Anyway, she couldn't live with her Grandmother, they just didn't get on. She says she loves me, but she says she doesn't know if she can marry me- sometimes, she says, love isn't enough, but doesn't love conquer everything?" My brother, the hopeless romantic. "She says her parents are furious at her being back, showing and all, but that she had to come back, this is her home, and no matter how she feels about me it's my kid."  
  
"So, what are you going to do then?" I asked, my mouth full of pizza.  
  
Soda looked at me, and slowly shook his head. "I have no idea Pony…no idea…." He looked so lost then, and I wanted to go over to Sandy's place myself and tell her off, tell her she had no right to play with my brothers emotions like she had been doing. But our conversation, and my thoughts, were interrupted as Two-Bit burst through the door, panting hard.  
  
"Quick, socs, got Steve…" He said.  
  
We all jumped up, and for a moment the way Darry was looking at me I thought he was going to order me to stay behind, instead he just said "Be careful Ponyboy." I nodded, and we all ran out the house.  
  
……………. 


	3. 3 Steve and the Socs

3. Steve and the socs.  
  
As we ran Two Bit panted out what he knew: "Steve was on his way round to your place, and then these socs stopped their car and they all called out to him. 'Hey Greaser, looks like you could do with a shower!' And Steve- being Steve- told them where to go. And so they got out of the car, and they surrounded him, and if I hadn't been walking by.....well I thought about stopping there and helping, but there were about five of them, and we would have been pretty outnumbered. Darry, do you remember James King?"  
  
Darry nodded. He wasn't speaking, clearly saving his energy for the fight which might lie ahead.  
  
"Well it was him and his mates, probably on vacation from College." Two Bit said.  
  
The name James rang a bell, and I wondered whether he was the same one who Darry used to knock round with before he went off to college, and before Darry started working full time. I think he was the third of the group, Paul Holden had made up the other member. I glanced at Soda, realising he hadn't spoken. Normally when there was the prospect of a rumble my brother was all hyped up and excited. I remembered the last time we had a rumble, and I had asked him why he liked fights, and he had replied "It's action. It's a contest. Like a drag race or something." I figured he was still worrying about Sandy.  
  
  
  
We rounded the corner, and there was Steve. The socs' had obviously left, and we were too late. Soda was the first to his friend's side, and he knelt on the ground next to him. I looked at him, and I'm no doctor, but he didn't look well. He was pale, almost to the point of being grey, and his eyes were closed. His face was swollen, and there was a cut somewhere above his hairline which was bleeding. But the worst thing was the way his arm stuck out at a funny angle- it was clearly broken.  
  
"Steve?" Soda asked. "Hey buddy, wake up."  
  
Steve opened his eyes, and he managed a weak smile. "Bunch of socs." He said. And then he clutched at his bad arm with his good one. "I think they've broken it. God help me if they have, how on earth can I work with only one hand?"  
  
Nobody answered that, instead Darry said "We better get you to the emergency room. Pony, do you want to go home-"  
  
"I'm coming with you Darry!" I insisted. I didn't even know what he was going to say, but I wanted to go with them. Soda might need me.  
  
Darry frowned at me. "I was going to say, go and call Steve's parents!" He said.  
  
"Can't I do that from the hospital?" I demanded.  
  
Darry shook his head. "Pony just do it, they need to know so they can go to the hospital to be with him!" I grumbled about it, but left, and ran home. I didn't realise it at the time, but Darry clearly had other plans, and had I known there is no way I would have left and gone home. And when I did find out later that night I went off at him!  
  
  
  
I was sitting on the couch waiting when they returned home. "Did Steve's parents get to the hospital?" I asked, not turning around. I was reading a book, and I was still annoyed at Darry for sending me home when I could just as easily have rang Steve's parents from the hospital. I don't know his parents very well, his Dad is a truck driver and not home very often, and his Mum is out most nights partying. Sometimes I wonder whether us Curtis' are better off without parents and with each other than Steve is with parents who don't really have the time for him?  
  
"I don't know." Darry replied tiredly. "But when we left they were fixing his arm and they gave him something for the pain. He'll probably be in the hospital a few days, and the doc says he might be off work for awhile.."  
  
"You don't know?" I asked, surprised, not really paying attention to the second part of the comment, and now I turned around, and my mouth dropped open. "Darry? Where have you been?"  
  
"We went after the Socs!" Darry replied, and he dropped tiredly into a chair. Apart from the fact that his clothes were roughed up, and he was slightly bruised on the face he didn't look like he had been doing anything out of the ordinary. Soda looked a little worse off, but not that bad really. At least not as bad as Steve had looked!  
  
"You what?"  
  
"Don't look at me like that Pony." Darry said, running a hand through his hair, as he did when he was tired, or stressed.  
  
"Darry, how could you have done that without me?" I asked.  
  
"They are all a lot bigger than you Pony, you could have gotten hurt, and I'm responsible for you.." Darry replied.  
  
"I could have gotten hurt, but so could you!" I snapped. I didn't usually speak to Darry like that; it usually wasn't worth it, but I was furious at him, and at Soda. Now I turned to Soda. "And you! You could have been hurt. And then I where would I be?"  
  
"Pony, leave it." Soda said tiredly, but there was no chance of that, not in my current mood.  
  
"Just because you have problems with Sandy there is no reason to go do something so stupid!" I yelled.  
  
Soda dropped his head, and didn't reply, but Darry glared at me. "Pony, just go to bed!" He said. "Leave Soda alone."  
  
"Leave Soda alone?" I repeated. "Fine. But don't think I am going to forget this!" I stormed off to bed, but I didn't fall asleep. Darry had been worried about me in the last rumble, the one against the socs, but I had done all right hadn't I? Sure afterwards I hadn't been so good, but that had nothing to do with the fight; it was because of Johnny's death.  
  
  
  
I pretended to be asleep when Soda came to bed.  
  
"Pony? You awake?"  
  
I didn't reply.  
  
"I know you are Pony. I can tell by your breathing!" He said.  
  
I didn't reply.  
  
"Darry just did what he thought was right. After all the things you've been through lately and all.It affects you Pony, even if you want to act all tough and pretend it doesn't! It's like.I don't know...but if I see one more person hurt so badly....it tears at me Pony......sometimes I think I should just get away from here, not come back!"  
  
Now I rolled over to face him. "Don't leave us." I said.  
  
"Oh I won't Pony, I just think about it sometimes." Soda said.  
  
"Good..Soda?" I asked.  
  
"Mmm?" He replied.  
  
"What are you going to do about Sandy?" I asked.  
  
Soda was quiet for a long time. Then he said "I don't know Pony. I'll think about it in the morning..."  
  
Soon his breathing told me he was asleep, but I had a harder time falling asleep. It wasn't that I was still so angry about not being included in the rumble, part of me could actually understand Darry's reasoning, no matter how adamantly I disagreed with it! I was worried about Soda, and Sandy. Could this be the thing to finally break the Curtis'? After all we had been through in the last few months didn't we deserve some peace now? 


	4. 4 Memories

4. Memories.  
  
The next morning when I got up Darry had already gone to work, which was probably lucky because despite the conversation with Soda the night before I was still a bit annoyed with Darry. Sometimes I think he takes his responsibilities a little too seriously. But he's always been that way. Remember how I said earlier he believes in hard work? When I think about our family I actually have to wonder how we get along most of the time. In case you haven't already noticed we're not exactly the same!  
  
Soda came into the kitchen yawning. "I guess I should get over to the hospital to see Steve..you wanna' come Pony?"  
  
"Sure, why not?" I replied. I didn't have any other plans for the day, and I thought maybe Soda might need my support, although Steve might not be all that happy to see me. That thought made me grin, but I didn't realise it until Soda asked what was so funny?  
  
"Nothing-just your face!" I replied, and Soda laughed and reached over to grab me, playfully punching me.  
  
"You cheeky Greaser!" He said. "You need to be taught a lesson!"  
  
"And you need a bath. Get thee hands off me, filth!" I replied. For a moment even joking about like this made me feel slightly sick. I remembered the moment when Johnny and I'd gotten into trouble with the socs. "You know what a greaser is?" Bob had asked. "White trash with long hair." I'd felt the blood draining from my face. "You know what a Soc is? White trash with Mustangs and madras." And at a loss for anything to call them which was bad enough I'd spat at them! I shook my head to clear my memory, telling myself that I couldn't let myself think about that night!  
  
"You better get dressed then Soda.you go out like that and you'll be arrested!" I said.  
  
*****  
  
At the hospital Steve was sitting up in his bed, still looking pretty pale, but he at least seemed to be better than the night before. I hadn't really thought about it, but even seeing Steve, who admittedly was not my favorite person, like he'd been the night before had worried me a bit. And maybe it had brought back memories of Johnny? I chased the thought away again, and tried to concentrate on Soda and Steve's conversation.  
  
"Yeah, the old lady came in here last night." Steve was saying. "She told me that she knew I'd get hurt if I kept hanging...well she basically said it was my own fault. 'I bet you couldn't keep that smart mouth of yours shut!' she said."  
  
He didn't need to complete his first comment; I knew what his Mother had said- "if you keep hanging around people like that!" The funny thing was she wasn't much better off than us financially, and her husband told Steve to get out and not come back at least once a week! At least when my parents had been alive only my father had worked. Everyone in the gang liked to come back to my place after school so that my mother would give us something to eat, and ask to hear about our days. That was probably the thing I missed most about her; not having her there when we got home!  
  
"Did the doc say how long it would be before you could be back at work?" Soda asked. "The garage wont be the same without you-hell, we could go broke without you there to do the mechanical stuff!"  
  
"Funny you should mention it. The boss came in here before, and he spoke to the doc..they're going to let me go back to work in a week or two, although I wont be much good if you ask me. But they think I should be back there as soon as I can!" Steve explained.  
  
I thought personally that the garage probably got more business not so much because of Steve's mechanical skills, but also because of Soda's good looks. Both of my brothers are good looking, leaves me the odd one out!  
  
"That's good to hear." Soda said.  
  
"Yeah, and hey, you'll never guess who else was here this morning?" Steve said.  
  
Soda raised an eyebrow. "If I wont guess don't make me guess!" He said.  
  
"Tim Shepard. He is thinking of organising another rumble-thinks that the Soc's have no guts for taking me on by myself." Steve replied.  
  
"Did you tell him no?" I demanded.  
  
Steve looked at me for a moment. "I didn't tell him anything, why the opposition? After what happened to you I'd have thought you'd hate the socs!"  
  
"I." I trailed off, not sure what to say. Unbidden another memory came to me. Johnny lying in the hospital bed, talking about dying! "I don't want to die now. It aint long enough. Sixteen years aint long enough. I wouldn't mind it so much if there wasn't so much stuff I aint done yet." And me telling him he wasn't going to die, even though in my heart I knew he would.  
  
I suddenly realised Soda was looking at me strangely. "Pony, you alright? You've gone pale."  
  
"Yeah, uh, I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night. I might go home and get some sleep..you stay here with Steve Soda!" I said.  
  
I ran home from the hospital, concentrating on breathing properly rather than the thoughts which had driven me from the hospital! I thought I was over that stuff. I thought I was all better. Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought? As I neared our house I realised that there was someone out the front. It wasn't until I got closer that I realised who it was: Sandy.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I greeted her, still panting from my run.  
  
She blanched. "Pony-I know you're probably mad at me-"  
  
"Smart aint ya?" I snapped.  
  
"Don't do that Pony. Don't be like Dally..you're not like him!" Sandy pleaded.  
  
"Why did you come back? Why did you have to come back and upset Soda?" I demanded.  
  
"I realised better!" Sandy replied.  
  
I looked down at her stomach. It had to be a few months before the baby was due, and she was already huge!  
  
"What are you going to call it?" I asked, interested in spite of myself.  
  
"I don't know.something pretty I think if it's a girl..Pony, I've been sitting here for a long time- I went to the garage but I was told Soda had the day off because of Steve getting hurt so I came here to wait for him- can't I come in and have a drink? When will Soda be home?" She asked.  
  
"A little bit." I replied, and then I sighed. "Yeah, come in, I'll get you something, and you can wait for Soda."  
  
She smiled. "Thanks Pony, you're a good kid you know!" 


	5. 5 Soda and Sandy's big decision

5. Soda and Sandy's big decision.  
  
Whilst we were waiting for Soda to get back from the hospital Sandy told me about staying with her Grandmother.  
  
"It's not that she's old fashioned so much, I could get round that, but she's into church and things like that. You can only go to bingo so many times before you have to get away from that." Sandy explained, with a grin.  
  
"Did your parents make you go to her, or did you decide that on your own?" I asked, curious. I remembered how hurt Soda had been when Sandy had left. I might be able to understand it, but I couldn't forgive her for it yet.  
  
"Sort of-they suggested it, and I jumped at the chance to get away. I didn't know what I wanted Pony, I was still in shock from even finding out. I'm only a kid really, I'm not old enough to be a Mom. But I don't have any choice now-it's too late to get rid of it-"  
  
"You mean an abortion?" I asked a little shocked. It wasn't exactly uncommon for young women in our area to get pregnant by accident (although I recalled a conversation between Darry and Two-Bit once and Two-Bit claimed that it wasn't always such an accident, and then Darry had seen me standing there and the conversation had come to an abrupt halt!), but most kept the babies.  
  
"Yes, but my parents would have killed me-not that they were all that impressed when they found out anyway!"  
  
I sighed, and glanced at the clock. Why was Soda taking so long to get back?  
  
"Pony, how are you doing? I mean really doing? After everything you've been through-"  
  
"How do you know about that?" I asked. "You weren't even here when it all happened?"  
  
"News travels fast around here Ponyboy." Sandy replied.  
  
I looked at the kitchen table thoughtfully. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, let alone Sandy, but she was staring at me in this understanding way which made me want to blurt it all out; that I thought I was coping just fine. That I had been fine the last couple of months, but since the incident with Steve and the socs I'd been thinking about Johnny all the time.  
  
"I can't believe how human Dallas Winston turned out to be. Did you know I went out with him once?" Sandy asked.  
  
My head came up, and I looked at her.  
  
She nodded. "It's true, and he got into a fight at the drive-in. I decided right off that he was not my type. And then I met Soda..." She smiled softly.  
  
"Do you love Soda?" I asked.  
  
"Yes Pony, I do. Maybe it's taken me a long time to realise it, but I do love him." Sandy replied.  
  
"So why wouldn't you marry him?" I demanded.  
  
She sighed. "Gosh Pony, why all the questions? I didn't want to get married for a few reasons. Firstly my parents, secondly we're too young, thirdly, I didn't know how we would cope..."  
  
"Didn't want to get married? Does that mean you've changed your mind?" I asked, pouncing on her comment.  
  
"You should be a lawyer Ponyboy Curtis." Was her reply.  
  
A noise outside alerted me and I looked up to see Soda come through the door. He was whistling to himself, and then he saw Sandy and stopped.  
  
"Soda, we need to talk." Sandy said.  
  
"We do. That's why I went over to your place only yesterday-geez a lot has happened in 24 hours!-but you told me in no uncertain terms to go away. You didn't want to speak to me then!" Soda replied, his tone cold.  
  
"I did want to speak to you!" Sandy protested, "But I was worried my parents might come home."  
  
"You said love doesn't conquer all Sandy. What did you mean?" Soda asked.  
  
"Love doesn't put food on the table. Love doesn't pay the rent. Love doesn't put diapers on a baby. Love doesn't-" She looked as though she could have gone on all day, but Soda interupted her.  
  
"We've talked about this before, so you know my position. And Darry's." Soda said.  
  
'Darry's position? Had he and Soda spoken about this before then?' I thought in surprise.  
  
"I know.and I know it's too kind. Kinder than I deserve maybe.." Sandy said.  
  
"It's not Sandy. I wanted to do the right thing, that's all. And you wouldn't let me!" Soda said.  
  
I was beginning to feel as though everyone but me was in on some big secret, and speaking some secret code!  
  
"Maybe I want to let you now." Sandy replied softly.  
  
Soda's eyes brightened and he moved over to where she was sitting and put his hand on her shoulder. "You know it'll be tough?"  
  
"No tougher than having my parents remind me every day what I've done, what life is going to be like for me now!" Sandy replied bitterly.  
  
"Well I'll have to speak to Darry about it again...and of course Pony!" Now Soda looked over at me.  
  
"Speak to me about what?" I asked suspiciously.  
  
"Sandy moving in here when we get married." Soda replied, proudly.  
  
I nearly choked on my drink. "Huh? You two are getting married?" I asked, wondering whether I'd missed something. Was that what the conversation was about?  
  
"What do you think Pony? Or should I say uncle Pony?" Sandy asked.  
  
I didn't know what to say, so I shrugged. "It might be alright. It might be nice to have a female around here again. And Soda would be happier.." I mused out loud.  
  
Soda laughed, and hugged me. "It'll be great Pony." He said.  
  
I smiled. Great? I hoped so. At least having Sandy and a baby around would take my mind off Johnny and what had happened! I hoped! 


	6. 6 A Curtis wedding

6. A Curtis Wedding.  
  
"Ponyboy are you almost ready? Geez how long does it take you in there?" Darry grumbled, banging on the bathroom door.  
  
"Takes him awhile if he wants to look good-almost as long as it is gonna' take you!" Two-Bit told him, making me grin. It wouldn't take Darry long to look great, he was naturally handsome. As for Two-Bit-well he looked like your typical greaser!  
  
"I wont be long Darry!" I called back.  
  
A few minutes later I made my way into the kitchen. Soda was sitting at the table, looking nervous, but handsome in his shirt and tie.  
  
"Hey is that Dad's tie?" I asked recognising it. Besides, Soda doesn't own any ties!  
  
"Yeah." Soda said, fingering it thoughtfully. "I just thought with me wearing it, it would be almost like he was here, somehow."  
  
None of us spoke for a moment, and then Steve, who had been out of hospital for a week or so by then, but still had his arm in a cast, said "We shoulda' thrown you one of those bucks turn things-bet Sandy had something!"  
  
"A quiet party with a few friends." Soda replied.  
  
Two-Bit snorted, and Darry smiled and disappeared to the bathroom. "Quiet party? Geez, if you believe that you'll believe anything. I bet they had a stripper at least!"  
  
Soda shook his head. "I doubt it. Sandy's due in a few weeks-there is no way she would be gallivanting about with some naked man."  
  
Two-Bit looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just shook his head.  
  
Darry came back then, and looked at us all. "Ready to go boys? Ready Sodapop?"  
  
We all nodded, and went out to our old Ford, and piled in. A thought occurred to me as we drove.  
  
"Hey Soda, are Sandy's parents coming?" I asked.  
  
"No." Soda said shortly.  
  
"I thought they would-I mean I know they don't like it and all.." I trailed off catching Steve's glare.  
  
"I coulda' put on a dress and been a bridesmaid if you two were doing this properly." Two-Bit lamented.  
  
I snorted, but imagined that Two-Bit would have done that!  
  
The last week or so had been pretty busy. We'd moved a lot of Sandy's things in, and Sandy and Soda had both been getting things they said they'd need for the baby. There were only three bedrooms in our place; one was our parents old room, one was Darry's and one was Soda's and mine. Darry decided that Soda and Sandy would have to have our parent's room. Since they'd died we hadn't really been in the room, although a few times in the early days I'd gone in there when I was the only one home. It had still smelt of my Mom's perfume and I'd sat in there quietly. But then I sort of stopped going in there, and nobody did. So when Darry made the decision part of me actually wanted to protest, but I didn't. Instead I helped him get rid of some of our parents old things. We took a load of clothes down to the op-shop, and other things we didn't think we needed. As for my own personal feelings the last week they'd been mixed. Part of me liked the idea of Sandy and the baby being there, but the other part wasn't so sure. I was used to it just being the three of us, and I thought we were closer than ever after everything that had happened earlier that year! As for Johnny-I hadn't thought about him like I had the week before, so I guessed that being in the hospital had just brought the whole terrible thing back to me! Although I had dug out my English theme from my drawer where I had shoved it the week before and read it again. As I read it was like reliving it all, but I managed not to be upset by it. I thought that maybe Johnny wouldn't want me to be upset too much-there was too much to live for he'd tell me! I debated getting rid of the theme, but decided that it was still part of me, no matter how much I hated it.  
  
"Pony? You not coming in after all?" Two-Bit's voice broke into my thoughts. I saw Darry looking at me thoughtfully. I'd seen him doing that a few times that week. I wondered if Soda had blabbed about my weird behavior at the hospital?  
  
"Course I am." I said, getting out of the car.  
  
Soda and Sandy were getting married in a church-Sandy refused not to-but it wasn't a big wedding. There were only us, and maybe a few of her friends attending. When we got in Sandy was already there and she smiled at us all, especially Soda. I had to admit she was pretty even with her big stomach sticking out!  
  
The wedding didn't go very long, and soon Soda and Sandy were husband and wife. Sandy's friends hugged them both, and congratulated them, and we all slapped Soda on the back. To me it didn't seem very real-it wasn't like what I'd imagined a wedding would be, but it didn't matter.  
  
Back at home we all sat down to pizza as the wedding feast.  
  
"Well it's not traditional, but I love it!" Two-Bit declared taking a huge bite, and almost choking.  
  
"Pony?" I turned to see Darry.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
  
"You are alright about this aren't you?" He asked.  
  
"Bit late to be asking that." I muttered, and then louder "Sure Darry it's fine!"  
  
"It's just the last week or so you've been pretty quiet. I wondered whether it might have had something to do with this-with Soda and Sandy?" Darry questioned.  
  
I sighed, and then shook my head. "No, I've been fine Darry." I said.  
  
"I know that it's been a few months since everything that happened, and I did think you were coping with it better than was expected, but the last week or so I've been wondering-"  
  
"Darry! I said I was fine, so just drop it!" I snapped.  
  
His eyes grew colder, and he turned back to the celebrations leaving me feeling guilty. He was clearly concerned about me, and I had to go and act all tough, like there was nothing wrong! But, I reminded myself, nothing was wrong. Not now, now I was fine! 


	7. 7 A little less conversation please!

7. A little less conversation please.  
  
It was the day after Soda and Sandy's wedding, and I was walking down to the shops. I was lost in my own thoughts, mostly about the wedding the day before and what my parents would be thinking if they were looking down on us now, when I virtually ran into someone. I jumped a mile, I don't mind admitting I've been a little bit jumpy since the incident with the Soc's where we killed one. But it wasn't a Soc, instead it was Johnny's Mom; Mrs. Cade. I don't think I've spoken about Johnny more than a passing mention in here yet, and that's simply because it is all still too painful. But I have to talk about him here because I cant tell you this without speaking about him. Johnny always seemed to have a permanent scared look about him, and he had this suspicious, nervous look in his eyes. But then when you saw his family life you'd understand this. His father constantly hit him, and his mother basically ignored him-that is unless she was yelling at him for something and in that case you could hear her all the way down at our house. The last time I'd seen her had been at the hospital when she'd come in to see Johnny and he had told the nurse not to let her in, that he didn't want to see her. The nurse insisted that she was his mother, and he got all worked up and passed out again. Out in the waiting room his mother had been arguing with the staff, saying "But I have a right to see him. He's my son. After all the trouble his father and I've gone to to raise him, this is our reward! He'd rather see those no-count hoodlums than his own folks." And then she'd seen me and Two-Bit and looked at us like she wished we were dead. "It was your fault. Always running around in the middle of the night getting jailed and heaven knows what else.." At that I thought Two-Bit was going to tell her off, and I was anxious to get out of there. As I didn't go to the funeral I hadn't seen her since, and now here she was in the street, and I'd ran into her.  
  
"Don't you watch where you're going?" She snapped at me.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was daydreaming." I said softly.  
  
There was a strange look in her eyes then. "Dreaming? Johnny used to dream all the time. It drove me mad. His head was in the clouds more than down here on earth!" She said.  
  
I wanted to tell her that with parents like he'd had there was little wonder that Johnny used to escape in his mind. When his father was belting him, and his mother yelling at him for something insignificant no wonder he let his mind drift off. But I didn't have the guts to tell her that, it was a pity Two-Bit wasn't there-he'd of told her no problem.  
  
"I heard your brother got married to that tart he knocked up." Mrs. Cade said.  
  
"Sandy's a nice girl." I protested, a little half-heartedly because seeing the woman overwhelmed me.  
  
"Obviously." Mrs. Cade said, a tone of contempt in her voice.  
  
"She is!" I said.  
  
"Right, and like you're all nice people. Nice people who got my son killed!" Mrs. Cade said, her voice rising.  
  
"Mrs. Cade," I began. "Johnny died saving kids lives. He died a hero!" Even in my mind I knew that how he died wasn't worth a thing because he was still dead, but I still said it nonetheless.  
  
"A hero?" Mrs. Cade shook her head. "He was a coward. Always scared, always acting like a baby-"  
  
"Johnny was the nicest person I have ever known Mrs. Cade, and it is a shame that you don't realise that considering he was your own son." I said a little angrily. I'd been trying to remain calm, but she was beginning to get to me now.  
  
"He'd have been a good person if he didn't hang around you people!" She said decidedly.  
  
Now I snapped, it was the second time recently we'd been called bad people and I wasn't having it. "He would have been even greater if he wasn't scared of his own shadow because your husband beat him up all the time for nothing, and you hadn't yelled at him all the time for no damn reason. The only time Johnny ever got love and affection in his life was with us. No wonder he hated you!" I yelled.  
  
I didn't know that there were other people in the street watching and listening to the exchange, but one of them came over to us.  
  
"Now, now. " He said to me. "What's this? Yelling at the lady!"  
  
"She's no lady!" I spat. "She's a miserable old bag, and she deserves to be miserable for the rest of her life. She can blame whoever she wants for her son's death, but she knows, like the rest of us, that deep down she's to blame. She made her son scared of people, she made him react the way he did, and therefore it was her fault he did what he did, and we had to run away. And she has to live with it for the rest of her life. Not me!"  
  
  
  
"You really said that?" Two-Bit asked impressed. "Good on you Pony." It was later on and I was at home telling my story.  
  
Soda reached over and ruffled my hair. "That was the way Pony! You told her good!"  
  
"And way to go sticking up for me!" Sandy said, giving me a smile.  
  
Darry was the only one who didn't say something, and I'd been a little concerned he might tell me off. Even though he was not all that fond of Johnny's parents I still thought he might tell me off for being rude. But now he looked at me and sort of grinned so I knew he wasn't mad at me. Maybe he was surprised at me more than anything?  
  
  
  
Later that night as I was lying in my bed, which felt strangely empty without Soda being in there, I got to thinking about Mrs. Cade. The look on her face made me realize that through her anger there was something deeper- sadness. But she had made her own bed, so I had no real sympathy for her. Not after all I knew about her. But thinking about her made me think about Johnny, something I had really tried to avoid to do after everything that had happened, in case you hadn't already noticed that? I had no problems thinking about Dally and his death, but there was something which prevented me from thinking about Johnny. It was almost as if I knew that if I let myself think about him I'd be letting myself in for a flood? Lying there in bed I felt my tears start. Why did nothing ever go right for us? Why did Johnny have to die? 


	8. 8 The new arrival

8. The new arrival.  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat. I reached for the lamp beside my bed, and turned it on. For a moment I thought I was back in the church, cold, tired, and hungry. I took a deep breath, and told myself that it was only a stupid nightmare. I was safe home with Darry and Soda! But I was still having trouble breathing. I hadn't dreamt of that time in ages, but it must have been seeing Mrs. Cade which brought it back. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to get myself a drink, as quietly as I could. I was shaking a little from the reality of the dream, and I drank the water in one long gulp.  
  
"Ponyboy?" Darry's voice made me jump a mile.  
  
"Darry! You scared the hell out of me!" I complained.  
  
"Sorry." Darry said, but he didn't sound very sorry at all. "Why are you up?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep." I muttered.  
  
"Did you have another nightmare Pony?" Darry asked softly.  
  
I hesitated, and then shook my head. "No, nothing like that." I lied.  
  
"Pony, if you want to talk to me you know you can. I know that in the past we haven't been very close, but I'm here for you. I know what you've been through-"  
  
"How do you know?" I demanded. "Were you there when Johnny killed the Soc? Were you there when we were hiding in the church so scared? Were you there when the there was the fire?"  
  
Darry sighed, and scratched at his head. "Pony, I thought you were better. What's made this all come back up?"  
  
"I don't know." I muttered. "Maybe Steve being in the hospital. Maybe seeing Mrs. Cade."  
  
Darry nodded slowly. "Yeah, before all that you were coming along fine...listen Pony, I've been thinking. I think it might help for you to see someone!"  
  
I stared at him. "See someone?" I repeated.  
  
"A doctor, or a psychiatrist, or a counselor. Someone who can help you talk through everything. Someone to help you deal with it better." Darry replied.  
  
I shook my head. "No. No way Darry! I am not going! Could you imagine what everyone would say?"  
  
"They wouldn't have to know!" Darry argued.  
  
"They'd still find out." I insisted. "Besides I'm fine. I can work this out myself."  
  
"If that's the case you're not doing a very good job of it." Darry said.  
  
"Stop acting like my father Darry!" I said angrily. "I'm old enough to know what's best for me!"  
  
"Yeah, that's obvious." Darry snorted.  
  
I was about to yell at him, and tell him to butt out of my life once and for all. But we were interrupted by a call from upstairs.  
  
"DARRY? PONY? Where are y'all?" Soda bellowed.  
  
"Down here!" Darry called back, looking at me strangely. I shrugged, and then the two of us hurried upstairs, meeting Soda on the way down.  
  
"Sandy's going to have the baby!" Soda said. "We've got to get her to the hospital."  
  
Darry turned to me, his eyes wide. "Go back the car out Pony, get it warm while I help Soda with Sandy! And Pony-do you think you're up to going to the hospital?"  
  
I glared at him embarrassed. "I'll be fine." I muttered, and I went back downstairs to get the car ready to go.  
  
On the way to the hospital Soda was sitting in the back with Sandy, holding her hand and telling her to take deep breaths. For my part I was thinking carefully; the baby seemed to be arriving a few weeks before I thought it was due. I didn't think that was too dangerous nowadays but you never knew. I glanced over at Darry, wondering whether he could go any faster, but his eyes were on the road, and his face was set with concentration, and I knew he was already way over the speed limit-something he doesn't do that often. It's always Soda who speeds!  
  
*****  
  
Darry and I were sitting silently in the hospital waiting room. A few times I'd seen him glance at me like he wanted to ask something, but my glare stopped him. I didn't need him asking me whether I was alright or not! Johnny's face had come into my mind a few times, but it was more like he was there watching over the whole event than memories of what had happened. For a moment I debated telling Darry this, simply as proof that I was alright, that I hadn't regressed back to what I had been like before, but I didn't. The daylight broke as we waited, and then Darry got up slowly. He was stiff from sitting in the chair for so long. "I've got to go call work. I hope they don't mind me taking the day off." He said, more to himself than me.  
  
"They won't mind Darry." I assured him. "I don't think you've ever taken a day off before without a good reason! Even when Soda and I tried to convince you otherwise!" That was true; Darry had gone to work with the flu on two occasions, and with a migraine on another. Like I said, Darry believes in hard work.  
  
"I might also give Two-Bit and Steve a call, and let them know the babies coming." Darry added, and he wandered off leaving me alone. For a moment I sat there, and then I got up, an idea in the back of my mind.  
  
The room was empty when I walked in, which was probably lucky! I went over to the bed where Johnny had died, and sat on it. "Hey Johnny. I bet you're watching over us now, aren't you? Can you believe Soda and Sandy getting married? Can you believe there is going to be a baby in the Curtis house?" I smiled slightly. "I bet you would have liked a baby around wouldn't you? I saw your Mom the other day and I am sorry for yelling at her Johnny, but I know you wouldn't care that I did it. She was never really family to you was she? She could have stopped your father from beating you up, but she never did! I've been doing alright lately. I never thought I would, but I am. I will miss you forever of course, and I even miss Dally which is a little concerning!, but I think I've really began to come to terms with everything which has happened."  
  
It was a few minutes later when I left the empty room, and it was strange, but I almost felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. As I walked back into the waiting room I saw Soda there hugging Darry. I hurried over, and Soda threw his arms around me, and we had a three-way hug.  
  
"It's a boy! I've got a son!" Soda told us.  
  
"Way to go Soda!" I said.  
  
For a few minutes we stood there like we were. The three Curtis's. Then Soda went back to Sandy, and Darry and I waited for the arrival of the other two. Darry looked at me.  
  
"Are you alright Pony? You seem..different.." He said, struggling to find the words for it.  
  
"I'm fine! I'm great actually!" I said. "I went and said goodbye to Johnny."  
  
Darry looked at me strangely for a moment, but he didn't ask, and I didn't tell him. Then he grinned, and reached out to ruffle my hair, like he occasionally did to Soda. "What do you reckon Ponyboy? We're uncles!" 


	9. 9 Babies change everything

9. Babies change everything!  
  
Two-Bit was the first to arrive at the hospital. He was carrying a huge teddy bear, which was almost as big as he was, and I had to smile at the sight of the tough greaser with a big soft toy!  
  
"Where's Soda and the baby?" He demanded.  
  
"We can't go in just yet." Darry said. "Why don't you find somewhere to put the bear?"  
  
"Okay." Two-Bit said, dropping the bear on the floor. "So," He said, turning to me. "You ready for some sleepless nights with that baby crying all the time?"  
  
"I am sure he won't cry all the time. He'll sleep a lot!" I argued.  
  
"Whatever." Two-Bit raised his eyebrow in his habitual way.  
  
It was then that Steve arrived. "Hey." He greeted Darry, ignoring me. "Boy or girl?"  
  
"Boy." Darry replied.  
  
Steve glanced at the huge teddy and shook his head. "Two-Bit?" He asked.  
  
Two-Bit grinned embarrassed. "Well it was cute. Every kid should have a big soft toy!"  
  
Steve shrugged, and then he asked Darry "Is the baby alright? I mean it is a few weeks early isn't it? I thought it wasn't due for another month or so."  
  
"I guess it couldn't wait." Darry said, shrugging.  
  
Steve frowned. There was clearly something on his mind, but he didn't say it then.  
  
It was then that Soda appeared again. "Hey y'all ready to see my son?" He called.  
  
"Damn straight I am." Two-Bit picked up the teddy bear, and Soda's eyes widened.  
  
"Okay, well come on in. Mind you can't stay all that long. Sandy needs to rest." Soda said.  
  
We followed him down the hall, and then into the room where Sandy lay in bed, a tiny bundle in her arms.  
  
"Hi." She greeted us.  
  
We all crowded round the bed looking at the baby, Two-Bit's teddy managing to get in the way, and earning a punch off Steve, and there were the usual comments about how cute he was.  
  
"He don't look like you nor Soda." Steve commented, and Sandy was quiet. Then she changed the subject, by turning to me.  
  
"Pony, what do you think of your new nephew?" She asked.  
  
I shrugged. "As long as he doesn't keep me awake by crying all night we'll get along just fine!" I said. Sandy smiled at me. I think she saw that underneath my tough attitude I thought that the new baby was actually quite cute!  
  
"When he gets old enough we can teach him to play ball." Soda commented proudly.  
  
"And to be do flips." Two-Bit added, and he started to do flips around the small room. Soda joined in and we all started laughing.  
  
"This looks like a circus! Okay, all visitors out now!" A nurse ordered appearing in the door.  
  
We all trooped out, Two-Bit walking on his hands past the bemused nurse. Outside the room Soda told us he would be home later on-he just wanted to spend some time with his wife and new son!  
  
"Baby looks big for a month premature." Steve commented on the way out.  
  
Darry looked at him strangely, but didn't comment on it. Instead he asked, "How's the arm coming along?"  
  
"Good yeah. They reckon I might be allowed to get the plaster off in another two weeks or so." Steve replied. "I can't wait to be able to get back to proper work at the garage!"  
  
*****  
  
When Sandy and the baby, who they had named Johnny after Johnny Cade, arrived home a few days later I was prepared for a little less sleep, but I had underestimated how much a baby cried.  
  
"Hi Pony, you're up early a holiday." Soda greeted me one morning, a few days later. He was bleary eyed, and went straight for the coffee.  
  
"Couldn't sleep." I replied, as bleary eyed as him.  
  
Soda laughed. "Yeah, kids got a good set of lungs on him."  
  
"Takes after his father!" I replied, yawning. "Anyway, sometimes I didn't sleep when we were sharing a room from your snoring, so it's not much different."  
  
Soda took a gulp of his coffee. "He'll settle down soon enough Pony, don't worry."  
  
"Who's worrying?" Darry asked, coming into the kitchen and stretching.  
  
"We were talking about Johnny's crying." Soda explained. "And I was telling Pony he should settle down soon. He's just getting used to it all."  
  
Darry nodded, and poured himself a coffee also.  
  
"Well better get to work. Got a wife and son to support!" Soda said proudly.  
  
"Mmm." Darry replied.  
  
After Soda had left Darry and I sat in silence, and then a thought occurred to me. "Darry, what was Steve on about at the hospital?" I asked.  
  
"On about?" Darry repeated, confused.  
  
"Yeah, with that talk about the baby being early, and then he said it didn't look like Sandy or Soda!" I said.  
  
"Who knows?" Darry replied, in a tone which implied he knew but wasn't going to say.  
  
"He thinks it isn't Soda's doesn't he?" I asked.  
  
"Leave it be Ponyboy." Darry said.  
  
"Glory Darry I'm old enough to be told things round here!" I snapped.  
  
"Okay, yes he thinks it isn't Soda's. He's always thought that." Darry replied.  
  
"He never said!" I said shaking my head.  
  
"No well he wouldn't would he? He doesn't want Soda to be hurt! He's his best friend Pony." Darry replied. "Do you want some bacon while I cook some for myself?"  
  
"Sure." I agreed absently, but my mind was reeling. I'd never got the impression that Steve suspected Soda wasn't the father of Sandy's baby, but now it made me think. The baby was a month early, and Sandy had resisted Soda's offer to marry her and ran off to stay with her Grandmother. An apparent change of heart had made her return and then accept Soda's offer. Could Steve be right?  
  
"Forget it Pony." Darry advised me, reading my thoughts. "Don't you say a word to nobody-especially Soda okay?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"I mean it Pony. You open your mouth and I'll kill you. Soda deserves some happiness in his life!" Darry warned me, his eyes cold.  
  
"Don't we all?" I demanded.  
  
Darry's expression softened. "That we do." He admitted. "I knew things would be tough after Mom and Dad died, but I had no idea of all we had to go through. Which reminds me Pony, I have to tell you that I don't know what you did at the hospital the other day, but it really seems to have worked!"  
  
I nodded. "I know, you're right, it has. I guess I had to come to terms with it in my own way. Maybe after the whole thing when you thought I was better I was simply blocking it out, and then I had to deal with it when I was ready?"  
  
Darry nodded. "You know what Pony-you should be a shrink when you're older."  
  
I grinned. "Well I'd sure have a wealth of material living here wouldn't I?" I asked, and Darry laughed. He reached over and ruffled my hair, something I've already told you he hardly ever does.  
  
"We're alright Pony. And we'll be alright. So long as we stick together!" Darry said. "By the way-think you could mow the lawns today seeing as how you've got nothing to do?" 


	10. 10 A Winston secret, and whose baby is i...

10. A Winston secret, and whose baby is it anyway?  
  
"Pony? Why are you standing there? Come in and see your nephew." Sandy said, noticing me in the doorway.  
  
I walked in, and glanced down at the sleeping Johnny.  
  
"He looks much better when he's sleeping." I commented, and Sandy laughed.  
  
"He does, doesn't he?" She replied. "Are you sleeping alright?"  
  
"I get by." I said, avoiding her question exactly. "He don't look much like a Curtis." I said.  
  
Sandy looked at me thoughtfully. "He doesn't yet.and he could look more like someone from my side of the family."  
  
I shrugged.  
  
"Pony?" Sandy asked. "Is there something on your mind?"  
  
"No." I lied. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going out for a bit."  
  
"Okay, no problems." Sandy replied.  
  
*****  
  
I walked fast once outside, Darry's words echoing in my mind: "You open your mouth and I'll kill you!" I didn't want to say anything, but if Steve's intuition was right, and Johnny wasn't Soda's baby didn't he deserve to know? I headed for the garage determined to speak to Steve. By some amazing luck I found him out the front alone. He glanced up at me, and then back at his work.  
  
  
  
"Steve?" I asked.  
  
"What?" He said, sounding irritated. It sometimes bugged me that he didn't like me, but then other times I didn't really care. At the moment I had things on my mind, which were more important than Steve Randall's feelings for me.  
  
"I need to ask you something." I said.  
  
"So ask then." He replied.  
  
"Why do you think that Sandy's baby aint Soda's?" I asked.  
  
Now he stood up and looked at me. "How'd you know what I think?" He demanded.  
  
"Darry told me. I sorta' worked it out though. Steve, Sandy wouldn't lie to Soda!" I said.  
  
Steve sighed. "Boy are you one innocent Pony." He said.  
  
"Innocent?" I demanded. "Glory Steve, how could I be? I've seen death, and pain and tears and blood-"  
  
"Alright, alright. You're a big tough man." Steve said, rolling his eyes. "So, you said anything to Soda bout this?"  
  
"No!" I said. "I couldn't. And I don't even know what I think."  
  
"Did you know Sandy dated Dally?" Steve asked.  
  
"Yeah, she told me something bout it. But she said she didn't like him, and then she fell in love with Soda." I said.  
  
"Yeah, she did. But there's something you don't know Pony. Something only I know. Dally and her saw each other once or twice when she was dating Soda." Steve said, pushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead.  
  
"So? That don't mean anything!" I said.  
  
"Listen Pony I don't want to hurt Soda any more than you do, which is why I didn't say anything to him!" Steve said. "But I overheard her and Dally speaking once, and Pony, it sounded like something went on there."  
  
I felt my heat racing. Surely this was only a coincidence? Surely God wouldn't let something happen to us again?  
  
"What did they say?" I asked.  
  
"Dally asked Sandy whether she was planning on telling anyone. She said there was no chance of that, she'd rather die than admit to something like that! And then he said good, keep it that way?" Steve said, sighing, like he didn't want to repeat it.  
  
"So that don't sound like all that much then?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know Pony." Steve said. "But I will tell you this-if Sandy is lying and this baby aint Soda's I'm gonna wring her neck!"  
  
I think we both realised at the same time. Later Darry would ask me how I could be so damn stupid, but I hadn't thought. I put my own curiosity ahead of anything else!  
  
"Soda." Steve said.  
  
My brother was standing there staring at us. I've told you that he's handsome haven't I? Well he didn't look so good now. His face was pale and he actually looked sick.  
  
"Soda." I said, wracking my brain for the words.  
  
"You're both wrong you know." Soda said, his voice hoarse. "He's my kid. I know he is!"  
  
"I hope he is buddy." Steve said.  
  
Soda's eyes turned to me. "How long have you been talking behind my back like this?" He demanded.  
  
"I haven't. I just spoke to Steve then Soda." I protested. "I wouldn't speak about you behind your back."  
  
Soda didn't reply to that. Instead he said, "I'm going home. Cover for me Steve?"  
  
"Sure buddy." Steve said, and then Soda left, and we looked at each other in shock.  
  
"Why did you have to come and ask?" Steve demanded. "You shoulda' known he might have overheard! Darry's right about you Pony-you aint got no brain!"  
  
"It's not just my fault!" I snapped. "You were the one telling the tale."  
  
Steve just glared at me and went back to his work, and I turned and left. At first I was thinking about going home, but then I changed my mind, and instead I went to where Darry was working. As I walked I was praying that Steve was imagining things. We didn't deserve to have something like this happen to us, not after every thing we had been through! It just wasn't fair!  
  
Darry was surprised to see me. "Ponyboy, what brings you here?" He asked tiredly.  
  
"You been working hard?" I asked, avoiding his question.  
  
"Pony, what's up?" Darry demanded.  
  
"You're not gonna like this Darry." I said, and I told him how I'd gone to see Steve, purely to see why he thought the baby wasn't Soda's, and then we realised Soda had overheard either all of it, but at least some of it!  
  
Darry's eyes grew little. "I should whip you Pony!" He said angrily. "Damn it Pony! Don't you think about things before you speak?"  
  
"I didn't know he was there!" I argued. "And if it's true Darry-don't you think Soda deserves to know now?"  
  
"That's beside the point." Darry replied. "Where does it all end Pony? First there was Mom and Dad dying, then the trouble with you, Johnny and the Socs, and then this..."  
  
"Well maybe it's not true." I offered hopefully.  
  
"Lets hope so Pony." Darry replied, but the look in his eyes told me he was scared. So was I! It was about time things worked out for our family, if you asked me! 


	11. 11 The end

11. The end.  
  
"Darry?" I asked, as we drove home. "What do we do if Steve's right?"  
  
Darry didn't reply for a moment. "I don't know Pony, the same thing as we've always done I guess-we go on."  
  
I sighed, and leant against the car window. If there was one thing I had only recently realised about our family it was that we did manage to go on, no matter what happened. It also occurred to me that it was because of the family. It had taken the problems earlier for me to see that we were actually closer than perhaps even we realised.  
  
"What are you thinking Pony?" Darry asked, glancing at me.  
  
I told him, and he nodded slowly. "Yeah you're right Pony. Without each other, well.if I didn't have you and Soda I don't think I could go on sometimes."  
  
"I didn't think you liked me all that much Darry." I blurted out before I realised what I had actually said.  
  
"Pony, I know sometimes I give you a hard time. It's only because I feel responsible for you." Darry said, sighing. "I don't mean to hurt you or anything. I thought you realised how much I cared about you?"  
  
"I did." I replied. "But I sometimes think that Soda is more important to you than me!"  
  
"I don't have favorites Pony. You're both my brothers." Darry said.  
  
When we pulled up out the front of our place we both hesitated before getting out. The dread in Darry's eyes was echoed in mine as we walked inside.  
  
Soda was sitting at the kitchen table, staring into space and I felt sick seeing him.  
  
"Sodapop? Little buddy?" Darry asked.  
  
Soda turned around to face us and his eyes were red. "Steve was right!" He choked out. "Sandy admitted that she thought Dallas Winston might be the father of the baby. She assured me she didn't know for sure though, and that I could be the dad!"  
  
I didn't know what to say. Was there anything I could say to stem my brother's pain?  
  
"Is she here?" Darry asked.  
  
Soda shook her head. "She's gone to her folks place." He said. Then he banged his fist on the table so hard it made me wince. "Damnit all. Why does this always happen? Why can't things just work out?"  
  
"Soda, it's not your fault. Sandy's the one who's in the wrong." Darry said, and he moved over to put his hand on Soda's shoulder.  
  
Glory that was right! I thought angrily. I couldn't believe I had felt sorry for her that day only a few weeks back. If I could have gone back in time I'd have told her to get lost!  
  
"I know it's not my fault!" Soda said. "But I just don't know how much more I can take of all this..."  
  
Darry glanced at me, and then he sat down next to Soda. "Soda let me tell you something Pony was telling me not long ago. He said that our family is stronger, and closer than we realise. Without each other we couldn't go on. And buddy, no matter how much this is hurting you right now, we're here for you. We'll always be here for you."  
  
Soda nodded slowly. "I still feel like someone's died." He said. "I feel like Sandy kicked me in the guts and then did it again, and again. I can't believe she did this to me!"  
  
"I know." Darry said slowly. "I am shocked at it too actually."  
  
For my part, I was thinking about how much had happened in the last few months, and how much more would happen before things might actually begin to go right for us?  
  
"Soda," I said, moving over to him also. "I'm convinced something good is going to happen to us soon. We can't go through all this and not have something good happen to us."  
  
Soda smiled grimly. "Well Ponyboy I sure hope you're right."  
  
I sure hoped he was right too. There had been some good things which had happened since Johnny and Dally died-I'd come to terms with it all better than had been expected, albeit somewhat strangely, and I'd also come to realise that being a Curtis meant being part of the family through bad times and good times. It just seemed unfair that Soda had been hurt so bad at the same time. We deserved happiness now! We really did!  
  
THE END!  
  
  
  
[A/N I know this is a hurried ending and I am sorry. I think I just sort of ran out of ideas on what to write now. And I knew I wanted the baby to not be Soda's, although I didn't know why? I am thinking, however, of writing a sequel to this story where something good happens to the family to make up for all the pain and suffering they have had to endure through the original book, and also my story. Anyway, regardless of the ending, I hope you liked it, and I hope you'll also like the next one?] 


End file.
